rain, chimes, and thunder

I know each day is a learning experience but not every experience is pleasant. Today I have had several and they have all been really enjoyable. 1) Worrying is a complete waste of my time. 2) You have to speak before you assume.

I have two polar opposite friend's to thank for these lesson's and I appreciate what they have brought me. I am focusing less upon giving a damn if I am 'liked' or 'disliked' and more upon how I can be a better person, in general. Better to those who are or are not my friends - better to myself - better to my living environment - generally, better. I think the happiness I can achieve with this will be much more fulfilling than anything else I can do to improve myself. I like to think as endings as times in which I am able to reflect and improve myself in ways I have never imagined.

Now, I'll admit that it would be nice if I knew exactly what I did so I could pinpoint my annoying actions, but it's no longer important. You can only reach out to someone for SO long before you give-up on them. Honestly, they gave up on me many weeks ago; but, that's not important now, either.  I wish them the best and have to seek that for myself. I am deserving of it, even if it comes from an unexpected source.

Beautiful

It's difficult to write for me sometimes because I try not to be such a nihilist in what I am trying to convey.  I have had a few moments in my 'glass half full' perspective which have left me nearly jaded. No, I think I may be jaded already. Now, I have to not let any of that allow me to radiate negative. Shew. Ok.

Straight to the meat & potatoes --- I have had a very 'active' week and here I am taking a breather from it.  Having a bit of 'Time Stand Still', if you will.  Why do we (or I) care what other's think of us? It's such an age old question it seems trite to use it but it has a very deep underlying paradigm --- the reason we care what other people think about us is because we (as humans) do not like to be disliked or to feel cognitive dissonance. Regardless of how much of a bitch or asshole someone may seem, they truly do not 1) think they are being that negative 2) want to be seen that way or to continue to act that way.  Sure, plenty of negator's out there do it on purpose & like it but they will tire eventually.

I really dislike trying to analyze psychological situations so I avoid it. I think we should try to be nicer to one another and I should be the first one to begin this trend.

Better than Monday

Ok, I really hate to hear the phrase, "A case of the Monday's," and I won't. Yesterday was an extra superbly  nasty day! The motor for my car window died, so it was stuck in the down position, of course. It spiraled from there.

Today has been much better and I would say that existentially I am completely in touch with the many changes around me. I have this horrible ability to remain detached from people and things - is it horrible? I don't think it's a defense mechanism, yet I do not think that self-preservation is selfish. We are flawed beings and this does not mean that we are not responsible for the repercussions we receive.  I mean, am I existential or just lacking the ability to be able to take responsibility for my feelings and actions that effect the feelings of other's?

I'm so tired, back soon.

From the 13th

Monday. The 13th of August, 2012. I had the most spectacular day and received several fantastic gifts. I am not an extremely materialistic individual, but I have a few weaknesses.

Anyway, the question I hope to answer in the next 365 days is the following: how are people supposed to respond to negative & unexpected behavior? How about spontaneous yet pleasant behavior? It matters, trust me.

And here I am. At my neglected blog that I have vowed to keep exciting since 2008 - and you can see how exciting I've kept it --- with two entries.

But what brings me here is a that question - why? Why do people do what they do? I am a sociologist and I am not sure why people do what they do. I'm not sure if they are aware of how much pain or joy they cause one another. I am going to try to write about my lucky 13 -- the last year of my 30's -- and the year that I realized, well, we shall see.