It's ironic how little credit you get for the countless laps of endless travel you do in your mind when the anxiety in your life is out of *ucking control. If I could count the miles that my mind travels, I would have already circled the earth a few times. I don't know that this is a 'disorder', well, it is. That's not the point. The point is you do not get credit for it -- no passport stamp, no warm fuzzy pictures, and no linguist practicamos.
Today it was beautiful outside and I'm so damned depressed that I haven't even gone onto my front porch. I do not want to leave and I do not want to stay. I am frozen, yet my mind is traveling. If someone stamps it, will I get credit for the effort I've exerted today to merely stay awake and not cry? No, I won't.
Maybe tomorrow.
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